Comments on: The Treachery of Military Wives http://www.welmer.org/2009/04/28/the-treachery-of-military-wives/ Exploring the East, Revisiting the West Tue, 18 Jan 2011 22:44:41 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: ThatGuy http://www.welmer.org/2009/04/28/the-treachery-of-military-wives/comment-page-1/#comment-5464 ThatGuy Wed, 20 Oct 2010 05:53:08 +0000 http://www.welmer.org/?p=178#comment-5464 Megan you sound like my wife. The pot that calls the kettle black..then attempts to hide the fact she has had a boyfriend for the last nine months. Emotional or Physical, they are both cheating, Having been in the military for over 10 years and being a senior nco with the responsibility of having to counsel and give support to countless soldiers when returning from battle to find that their wives had men living in their houses, sleeping with their wives it is not an easy job. And with comments like you have said " If their decision is to abandon that role while they’re gone, they deserve for their spouses to leave them" most of the men have 2 ways of dealing with the fatigue of battle. Seek support from their spouse, or shelter their spouse and themselves from the complete hell that is killing people in battle and watching your friends die daily. The fog of war, the fatigue of going day after day and night after night with little to no sleep, little to no time for rest let alone time to spend "quality time" on the phone. I am now off of active duty, not deploying, and going through a divorce, with children involved with a wife who was unfulfilled, complained about everything but wouldnt take one step in a direction to help herself, instead a 9 year relationship right down the shitter where her boyfriend crawled out of. No job during the entire relationship, no job after 4 months of me living outside of our home. Expecting me, now a civilian fighting to make ends meet when we were together, even harded when I have bills at 2 houses to pay to continue to pay for her laziness and her unwillingness to contribute to anything to support herself. This article was written to show the flipside of what a soldier has to deal with while he is away. For the ladies who are in her complaining about the husbands who cheat while they are away take megans advice and see where it takes you in life. Megan- " There are many easy, creative ways for a deployed military member to keep their marriage strong while they’re deployed. If their decision is to abandon that role while they’re gone, they deserve for their spouses to leave them.' Megan you sound like my wife. The pot that calls the kettle black..then attempts to hide the fact she has had a boyfriend for the last nine months. Emotional or Physical, they are both cheating, Having been in the military for over 10 years and being a senior nco with the responsibility of having to counsel and give support to countless soldiers when returning from battle to find that their wives had men living in their houses, sleeping with their wives it is not an easy job. And with comments like you have said ” If their decision is to abandon that role while they’re gone, they deserve for their spouses to leave them” most of the men have 2 ways of dealing with the fatigue of battle. Seek support from their spouse, or shelter their spouse and themselves from the complete hell that is killing people in battle and watching your friends die daily. The fog of war, the fatigue of going day after day and night after night with little to no sleep, little to no time for rest let alone time to spend “quality time” on the phone. I am now off of active duty, not deploying, and going through a divorce, with children involved with a wife who was unfulfilled, complained about everything but wouldnt take one step in a direction to help herself, instead a 9 year relationship right down the shitter where her boyfriend crawled out of. No job during the entire relationship, no job after 4 months of me living outside of our home. Expecting me, now a civilian fighting to make ends meet when we were together, even harded when I have bills at 2 houses to pay to continue to pay for her laziness and her unwillingness to contribute to anything to support herself.

This article was written to show the flipside of what a soldier has to deal with while he is away. For the ladies who are in her complaining about the husbands who cheat while they are away take megans advice and see where it takes you in life.
Megan- ” There are many easy, creative ways for a deployed military member to keep their marriage strong while they’re deployed. If their decision is to abandon that role while they’re gone, they deserve for their spouses to leave them.’

]]> By: B. http://www.welmer.org/2009/04/28/the-treachery-of-military-wives/comment-page-1/#comment-5461 B. Wed, 15 Sep 2010 13:14:48 +0000 http://www.welmer.org/?p=178#comment-5461 Alright to all the woman here i need to point one thing out to you this article is not sayin the law should always be on the mans side. It mearly states that as men in the military get royaly f*cked over by the laws because most family courts tipically lean towards the mother for such things such as custody. Which means if the male soldier cheats so what the laws already on your side but being as I am currently deployed with a cheating wife back home (which I found out so she confessed) when I get home despite the fact that I have been faithful and true as both a husband and a father I can almost guarantee that she will get custody of my son. The article doesnt say the law should favor us men it just mearly states that as men we tend to get boned by the very system that weve sworn to uphold and defend. Alright to all the woman here i need to point one thing out to you this article is not sayin the law should always be on the mans side. It mearly states that as men in the military get royaly f*cked over by the laws because most family courts tipically lean towards the mother for such things such as custody. Which means if the male soldier cheats so what the laws already on your side but being as I am currently deployed with a cheating wife back home (which I found out so she confessed) when I get home despite the fact that I have been faithful and true as both a husband and a father I can almost guarantee that she will get custody of my son. The article doesnt say the law should favor us men it just mearly states that as men we tend to get boned by the very system that weve sworn to uphold and defend.

]]> By: Summer http://www.welmer.org/2009/04/28/the-treachery-of-military-wives/comment-page-1/#comment-5446 Summer Thu, 24 Jun 2010 15:50:26 +0000 http://www.welmer.org/?p=178#comment-5446 Wow, my heart goes out to everyone, because we all have serious situations and great stories. My husband and I have been married over 15 years. He is currently active duty. He has consistently cheated and have to this day not been deployed. He is stationed 700 miles from home. He is very mentally abusive and the list goes on and on. I have been faithful and will continue to be faithful. However, when God opens a door and show me new direction---I WILL TAKE IT! I believe that sex is a huge trap especially for a weak mind. Wow, my heart goes out to everyone, because we all have serious situations and great stories. My husband and I have been married over 15 years. He is currently active duty. He has consistently cheated and have to this day not been deployed. He is stationed 700 miles from home. He is very mentally abusive and the list goes on and on. I have been faithful and will continue to be faithful. However, when God opens a door and show me new direction—I WILL TAKE IT! I believe that sex is a huge trap especially for a weak mind.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.welmer.org/2009/04/28/the-treachery-of-military-wives/comment-page-1/#comment-5442 Anonymous Mon, 31 May 2010 22:02:20 +0000 http://www.welmer.org/?p=178#comment-5442 Torn Soldier, I hear you, man! Gettin' divorced myself... called-up and haven't even touched her in a year, is she's suddenly pregnant and wants child support (betcha, I'll "owe" it to her because I "made" do that or something) I'll laugh in her face. Torn Soldier, I hear you, man! Gettin’ divorced myself… called-up and haven’t even touched her in a year, is she’s suddenly pregnant and wants child support (betcha, I’ll “owe” it to her because I “made” do that or something) I’ll laugh in her face.

]]> By: Jon http://www.welmer.org/2009/04/28/the-treachery-of-military-wives/comment-page-1/#comment-5441 Jon Thu, 06 May 2010 19:57:50 +0000 http://www.welmer.org/?p=178#comment-5441 This was going on back when I was in the service during Vietnam. I can't tell you how many of my buddies got dear John letters from wives back home that were basically bored and decided to screw around ranther than wait for their man to come home. Deployments back then averaged around 1 year so it's a sad comentary of our women in the USA. This was going on back when I was in the service during Vietnam. I can’t tell you how many of my buddies got dear John letters from wives back home that were basically bored and decided to screw around ranther than wait for their man to come home. Deployments back then averaged around 1 year so it’s a sad comentary of our women in the USA.

]]> By: Emily http://www.welmer.org/2009/04/28/the-treachery-of-military-wives/comment-page-1/#comment-5439 Emily Fri, 30 Apr 2010 09:30:17 +0000 http://www.welmer.org/?p=178#comment-5439 Dont know if anyone has even considered the fact that half of todays population doesnt even care if another person is married. I would expect the question " but are you happily married??" Before someone says " Oh ok ill go f***k off!" We have a huge range of people looking to take advantage of the spouses vulnerability during a deployment. I have been an army wife for sometime now and have come across this more often then not. It is easy for everyone to claim that every spouses cheating is horrid...but there are some cases where the people arent looking to sleep around but have another person trying/succeeding in filling the roll they are missing. It is a weakness and no means right- but you dont realize how hard it is until it happens to you. There are victims on every side of the spectrum in my mind. Dont know if anyone has even considered the fact that half of todays population doesnt even care if another person is married. I would expect the question ” but are you happily married??” Before someone says ” Oh ok ill go f***k off!” We have a huge range of people looking to take advantage of the spouses vulnerability during a deployment. I have been an army wife for sometime now and have come across this more often then not. It is easy for everyone to claim that every spouses cheating is horrid…but there are some cases where the people arent looking to sleep around but have another person trying/succeeding in filling the roll they are missing. It is a weakness and no means right- but you dont realize how hard it is until it happens to you. There are victims on every side of the spectrum in my mind.

]]> By: Torn Soldier http://www.welmer.org/2009/04/28/the-treachery-of-military-wives/comment-page-1/#comment-5406 Torn Soldier Tue, 26 Jan 2010 18:53:31 +0000 http://www.welmer.org/?p=178#comment-5406 One thing that nobody has touched on yet, and something that I think is so gruesomely wrong with society, more specifically military communities, is the bystanders lack of willingness to speak up when someone is doing their spouse dirty. I'm a soldier getting ready to start the divorce process after finding out a couple months ago that my wife has cheated on me throughout our whole 7 year marriage and then some. Even when I was in AIT and she was back home planning our wedding. She's cheated on me with 11 different people for a total of almost 30 times to include a pregnancy and an abortion while I was deployed to iraq and we were planning a baby of our own when i came home for mid-tour leave, which she actually went through with. I didn't find out until way after. The list of horrendous things that she did would make any normal person throw up, i'm getting sick just typing about it. From unprotected encounters to public places, right after talking to me on the phone while with another guy. And the real kicker is......she didn't hide from any one but me. She wasn't discrete, all my neighbors knew, her whole family, all her friends, some people that i thought were my friends knew. AND NOBODY SAID S*%#!!!!! FOR YEARS!!!!! It took the wife of one of the men that she cheated on me with to open my eyes.....years later. Everybody says, "it's none of my business," or "well I don't know for sure," or "I don't want to hurt their kids." The fact that everybody around me knew and said nothing hurts just as bad as the actual cheating. Nobody gave enough of a shit about me to speak up, until a pissed off wife did it out of vengeance against my soon to be ex-wife. And now because of somebody else, whom I couldn't physically control their actions, I'm all messed up and have to be lonely and depressed and sad and angry. And worst of all, "I" am losing my kids, all four of them. One of which I just finally got custody of from a previous ex after having her with held from me for over six years. I can't take it sometimes. One thing that nobody has touched on yet, and something that I think is so gruesomely wrong with society, more specifically military communities, is the bystanders lack of willingness to speak up when someone is doing their spouse dirty.
I’m a soldier getting ready to start the divorce process after finding out a couple months ago that my wife has cheated on me throughout our whole 7 year marriage and then some. Even when I was in AIT and she was back home planning our wedding. She’s cheated on me with 11 different people for a total of almost 30 times to include a pregnancy and an abortion while I was deployed to iraq and we were planning a baby of our own when i came home for mid-tour leave, which she actually went through with. I didn’t find out until way after. The list of horrendous things that she did would make any normal person throw up, i’m getting sick just typing about it. From unprotected encounters to public places, right after talking to me on the phone while with another guy. And the real kicker is……she didn’t hide from any one but me. She wasn’t discrete, all my neighbors knew, her whole family, all her friends, some people that i thought were my friends knew. AND NOBODY SAID S*%#!!!!! FOR YEARS!!!!! It took the wife of one of the men that she cheated on me with to open my eyes…..years later.
Everybody says, “it’s none of my business,” or “well I don’t know for sure,” or “I don’t want to hurt their kids.” The fact that everybody around me knew and said nothing hurts just as bad as the actual cheating. Nobody gave enough of a shit about me to speak up, until a pissed off wife did it out of vengeance against my soon to be ex-wife.
And now because of somebody else, whom I couldn’t physically control their actions, I’m all messed up and have to be lonely and depressed and sad and angry. And worst of all, “I” am losing my kids, all four of them. One of which I just finally got custody of from a previous ex after having her with held from me for over six years.
I can’t take it sometimes.

]]> By: Ryan http://www.welmer.org/2009/04/28/the-treachery-of-military-wives/comment-page-1/#comment-5403 Ryan Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:15:29 +0000 http://www.welmer.org/?p=178#comment-5403 To Brittany: There is a lot you can do about this abuse. I have been in the military for a while now and there are several options you have. You can file domestic abuse charges (because this a sure sign of domestic abuse), go to his 1sgt, or just leave. If you were to call his 1sgt he would immediately have to stop everything he's doing wrong. Stop letting him walk all over you and stick up for yourself. To Brittany: There is a lot you can do about this abuse. I have been in the military for a while now and there are several options you have. You can file domestic abuse charges (because this a sure sign of domestic abuse), go to his 1sgt, or just leave. If you were to call his 1sgt he would immediately have to stop everything he’s doing wrong. Stop letting him walk all over you and stick up for yourself.

]]> By: Annitra http://www.welmer.org/2009/04/28/the-treachery-of-military-wives/comment-page-1/#comment-5402 Annitra Sun, 17 Jan 2010 07:25:59 +0000 http://www.welmer.org/?p=178#comment-5402 This column is B.S.....what about the military husbands that take their wives for granted and getting turned on by other women or even porn more than their own wives. Soldiers are not INNOCENT as you make them out to be here. Yes, I agree, there are some wives that leave their soldiers for other men because they simply cannot handle being a strong woman and they should pay the consequences of being cut out of his benefits but it is not so common as you may suggest. Many divorces that occur in military life is due to unfullfilled marriages courtesy of the high demands of the military. Soldiers tend to leave on their deployments and come back incredibly different. NO , its not their faults, but if they are not willing to admit it and work on it for the sake of their spouses then divorce occurs. I am a military wife, and I really do not appreciate being made to look like we are ungrateful for all our spouses do and that we just want to get our asses humped every five minutes while they are away! This column is B.S…..what about the military husbands that take their wives for granted and getting turned on by other women or even porn more than their own wives. Soldiers are not INNOCENT as you make them out to be here. Yes, I agree, there are some wives that leave their soldiers for other men because they simply cannot handle being a strong woman and they should pay the consequences of being cut out of his benefits but it is not so common as you may suggest. Many divorces that occur in military life is due to unfullfilled marriages courtesy of the high demands of the military. Soldiers tend to leave on their deployments and come back incredibly different. NO , its not their faults, but if they are not willing to admit it and work on it for the sake of their spouses then divorce occurs. I am a military wife, and I really do not appreciate being made to look like we are ungrateful for all our spouses do and that we just want to get our asses humped every five minutes while they are away!

]]> By: Erin http://www.welmer.org/2009/04/28/the-treachery-of-military-wives/comment-page-1/#comment-5384 Erin Thu, 03 Dec 2009 12:05:27 +0000 http://www.welmer.org/?p=178#comment-5384 I am in the process of divorce right now. My husband is currently in Iraq. While he was in Iraq, I found out that he has been cheating on me the entire time we've been together (even before we got married). He's a sex addict and can't live without his hookers. I offered to wait until he returned from Iraq to file (after trying to encourage him to change so that we could work things out and attempt to save our marriage... he wouldn't change). He is the one who chose to have me file while he is still there. Our divorce will be final in a couple of weeks. Yes, there are some cases of adultery in the military. Yes, sometimes it is the wife here at home while her husband is faithfully serving. But that is not NEARLY as common as you make it seem. I am in the process of divorce right now. My husband is currently in Iraq.

While he was in Iraq, I found out that he has been cheating on me the entire time we’ve been together (even before we got married). He’s a sex addict and can’t live without his hookers.

I offered to wait until he returned from Iraq to file (after trying to encourage him to change so that we could work things out and attempt to save our marriage… he wouldn’t change). He is the one who chose to have me file while he is still there.

Our divorce will be final in a couple of weeks.

Yes, there are some cases of adultery in the military. Yes, sometimes it is the wife here at home while her husband is faithfully serving.

But that is not NEARLY as common as you make it seem.

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