It strikes me that a very large part of the new feminist paradigm in the US involves forcing men, by one means or another, to shut up and behave “properly.” What proper means depends, of course, on what particular people want at any given time, so it is, in effect, asking men to keep hitting a moving target.
Having lived in the PRC, a supposedly totalitarian country, I am constantly amazed by how restricted the behavior of citizens is in our so-called land of the free. We have to shut up at work, at school, at home and in court. Speak out of line and you could get fired, jailed for contempt, arrested, etc.
When I lived in Beijing, I saw ordinary Chinese citizens arguing with policemen, raising their voices, shouting and gesticulating. Can you imagine what would happen here if one did the same? Of course you can: a face-plant into the sidewalk, a knee in the back accompanied by a very tight shackling, and then a ride to jail.
In American universities, if you say the wrong thing in class as a young man you will get graded down. Although people commonly express contempt for “political correctness,” it is a fact of life, and everyone knows it. Just look around at men who have legitimate grievances about the society we live in: we almost all use pseudonyms on our blogs. And why is this? Because we are rightly afraid of losing work or facing some other negative consequence for exposing problems with the status quo.
Perhaps the most ironic thing of all is that despite our living in a supposedly free society, most people are too scared to say that it might not be so free, or even so great. How low have we sunk!
9 responses so far ↓
1 Lukobe // Jul 14, 2009 at 5:46 pm
It’s not just men, of course, who are expected to keep quiet if they have something to say that doesn’t mesh with the view of those in power. It’s everyone without power. In academia, in the corporate world, in government, everywhere. Sadly, this is nothing new. The only ones who really dare speak up are the ones who feel, rightly or wrongly, they have nothing to news. Who knows what would happen if, for one day, everyone was given a free pass to really speak their mind.
I still prefer living in a country that has, but fails to live up to, the First Amednment, to one that doesn’t even bother pretending.
2 Derek // Jul 14, 2009 at 6:13 pm
It’s a pretty fucked up deal. Women do most of the enforcing of this shitty PC system. Once the chicks leave the office all the guys relax and can say whatever we want again.
3 Welmer // Jul 14, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Of course it isn’t only men, but I think Derek is right in that it is men who are the primary targets. We men have a tendency to forget the immediate social implications of statements. It used to be that guys could laugh about that, but not anymore.
Now, we are truly under the gun. Maybe far more of us will feel we have nothing left to lose. Today, you can’t go to jail for what you say (unless you do so in front of a judge), but you can lose your livelihood, your family, your degree and much more.
I wonder whether guys in unions could be fired for griping as easily as people are today. I seriously doubt it. We’re back in the blacklist era, and other guys won’t do a thing to stick up for guys, even if they agree with them, because they want to keep their jobs/positions as well.
It’s like living in a kindergarten society ruled over by some mother hen.
I blame Robert Fulghum, for starters…
4 Lukobe // Jul 14, 2009 at 7:27 pm
It’s not necessarily the women who put the kibosh on talk — well, it depends on the sort of talk you’re talking about. I was more thinking of questioning-authority kind of talk. Sounds like you’re thinking more like “check out this picture of Megan Fox”?
5 Welmer // Jul 14, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Questioning authority talk is far more acceptable to men. Guys who really have authority don’t feel all that threatened by it, and they don’t take retribution in the same way.
Authority amongst men is more of a rule by consensus kind of thing. With women it is qualitatively different, as far as I can tell. It’s more of an “I’m in charge because I’m me and you’re you” kind of thing, rather than “I’m in charge and should lead because I have the ability.”
I really do think it comes down to the parental model. Maternal authority is something taken for granted — at least for the first few years. Paternal authority comes into play when a child gets older and seriously challenges things, then defers because father is clearly stronger and wiser.
Maternal authority cannot stand up to tests and despises them, whereas paternal authority is all about tests and often encourages them (in limited contexts). There is a clear difference there.
6 Lukobe // Jul 14, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Sounds like nobody really has authority in a corporation except the CEO, then. You wouldn’t think guys accept questioning-authority talk after hanging out for a while in the corporate world…
7 Welmer // Jul 14, 2009 at 9:15 pm
Yeah, you’re probably right.
We’ve come to a point where we’re all bound up in one way or another. Kind of makes me envy the Pathans, despite the war over there. Why are we really fighting them anyway?
Burqas?
8 Derek // Jul 15, 2009 at 12:21 am
It’s not stuff about Megan fox (ok sometimes it is) but once it’s just the guys we stop having to worry about offending people. We can say anything off color, mock things and people without worrying about a compliant to HR the next day. I would love to work in an all male environment again… so little stress.
9 Derek // Jul 15, 2009 at 12:23 am
Why are we fighting in Afghanistan? White mans guilt. We were told it was our fault that the Taliban and Al Quida took over after the Sov Afghan war (yes, they only came in like 10-15 years later, that does not mater to the people blaming us). We were told they attacked us because we failed to toss bails of dollars and build schools and push women rights! Every women mistreated in a burka, every dead child due to fighting, and every landmine blowing up a goat was all our fault. It’s all the white mans fault! Or so they told us.
It’s not part of the world that can really be governed and I think it’s people have always liked it that way. But we fear leaving because of then burden would push even harder down on us. And once again, we would be blamed for everything thing bad that happens after we left.
I’ll all for leaving, but I think most people feel that burden to strongly. Depression 2.0 should shock us out of it in the next 2 or 3 years.
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