According to a former waitress who is now a “writer”, one Hannah Raskin, a 15% tip just ain’t enough anymore. People are making less than ever, are unable to afford eating out, and yet she’d have them pay servers more than they can afford.
I’ve got nothing against servers, but I hate tipping. I always do it, and my tips fall between 15-20% about 95% of the time. However, if I ran a restaurant, I’d include the gratuity in the price of food. Selling a sandwich for $5? Raise it a buck and give the extra to the server. $1 for a soda-pop? Make it $1.20. I detest feeling that somehow I have to prove my worth by giving the server some exorbitant fee for showing cleavage as she bends over to serve me food. And that’s really what this comes down to — as women have come to dominate food service they’ve sexualized it to the point of something near pole dancing.
Frankly, I’d rather a guy serve me my food. He’ll usually do a better job and not try to use some physical assets to try to open my wallet. Same goes for a therapeutic massage. After getting run over by an old lady doing a thankless, low-wage job that I should have been tipped for, but never was (courier), I had a few sessions of much-needed massage therapy to minimize scar tissue in my neck and back. By far the most useless practitioners were females. Not only were they weak and ineffective, they seemed to feel that I owed them $60/hour simply for them having deigned to touch my back. As a young guy who had no shortage of female attention at the time and definitely needed a therapeutic massage, I certainly didn’t see it that way, and after a couple sessions with lazy, pathetic masseuses I made it a point to demand a masseur – preferably a strong one – or no go.
I’m getting to that point with waitresses. I am quite frankly sick of their entitled, bitchy attitudes. I don’t care if they serve me a sandwich underneath a couple of pushed-up, scented breasts; I don’t go to restaurants to masturbate, after all. Give me a professional, deft man who handles the table with skill and reserve and I’ll be all too happy to pay him what he deserves. But after reading Ms. Raskin’s bitchy, greedy little screed, I’ve vowed that the next slut who tries to squeeze some extra cash out of me by shoving her tits into the center of my visual field gets 10% and no more.
Whatever the case, if I had my way I’d eliminate tips altogether and have waiters work on commission, as I suggested before. If their 20% is in the menu price, I know exactly what I’m getting into when I look at the menu and there’s no reason to complain. If the service is bad, I simply don’t go back to that restaurant. If guys want gussied up little hussies, they can go back over and over again, but as for me I’ll be happy to patronize pleasant places with a touch more class. Pardon me if I’ve been a bit uncouth in this post, but to be quite honest I find Ms. Raskins’ attitude pretty offensive and simply replied in kind.
I’d like to hear Chuck Ross’s take on this.
21 responses so far ↓
1 Kulaks Never Learn // Sep 18, 2009 at 11:35 pm
Very interesting post there Welmer.
I thought I was alone in noticing how banal and how manipulative most female ‘servers’ really are, especially to their male clientele.
Another reason to eat out as least as possible. (Most of the “food” in restaurants is pure garbage anyway — loaded with chemicals and other slow poisons — see “Supersize Me” on DVD if you didn’t yet.)
2 Kulaks Never Learn // Sep 18, 2009 at 11:40 pm
*Regarding female arrogance*
Check out this super interesting article -
The ego epidemic and how more and more of us have an inflated sense of our own fabulousness | Mail Online
“Us women are more egocentric and narcissistic than we ever used to be, according to extensive research by two leading psychologists.
“More of us have huge expectations of ourselves, our lives and everyone in them. We think the universe resolves around us, with a deluded sense of our own fabulousness, and believe we are cleverer, more talented and more attractive than we actually are.
“We have trouble accepting criticism and extending empathy because we are so preoccupied with ourselves.”
[...]
“Am I making you angry by telling you this? It figures. Narcissistic or egotistical women do have an overwhelming sense of entitlement and arrogance.
“Of course, I joke, but researchers say there is growing evidence of an epidemic of ego-itis everywhere.
“Once a traditionally male syndrome, narcissism generally begins at home and in schools, where children are praised excessively, often spoiled rotten and given the relentless message that they are ‘special’.”
[...]
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1213212/The-ego-epidemic-more-inflated-sense-fabulousness.html
Obviously not just a problem in America, ehh.
3 Welmer // Sep 18, 2009 at 11:53 pm
No doubt. After my extended poverty following divorce, which limited my eating out to rare occasions, I’ve found that a lot of restaurants load food with so much sodium that I can barely choke it down these days. It feels like I’m eating congealed seawater.
I have also dated enough waitresses to know how filthy and disgusting restaurant kitchens are. Low quality and filthy food is simply masked with fat, sugar and salt.
Having to pay a pound of flesh to little skanks who simply move food a few yards from here to there only adds insult to injury. There’s no law that says you have to tip these primadonnas 20%, so why bother?
4 Tarl // Sep 19, 2009 at 6:46 am
My understanding was that restaurants pay servers substandard wages and allow them to make it up (or not) in tips. How much more expensive would the food be if servers were paid “decently” (whatever that is) but no tips were expected? A lot of restaurants in Europe are “service included” and I haven’t noticed much difference in the service, even in France. “Service compris” seems to work over there.
Last week I came back to a restaurant that had previously been good – good food, attractive and sufficiently competent waitresses. This time I was disappointed. Food was sub-par, and the waiter was an ineffectual male. I figure they started losing customers because of the economic downturn, so they started skimping on food, and they can’t attract decent wait staff any more, but now the poor food and service is going to drive even more people away. I don’t know how they get out of that vicious cycle, but I’m not going to come back.
I don’t care if waitresses “expect” 20% now, they’re only getting 15% from me, so there.
5 Chuck // Sep 19, 2009 at 8:01 am
Welmer:
i agree with your take. Women are worse servers than men on average and they bitch nonstop. But if we included tip in the check, the level of service would decline as servers would have no incentive to go above and beyond.
6 Useless // Sep 19, 2009 at 8:35 am
Thank you! I also detest tipping. I do it (grudgingly) to avoid dirty looks. I see it this way: I already paid for an overpriced dish, from a dirty kitchen, and from preparers with questionable hygiene, and THEN, I have to let go of money that I could use for carfare? Bullshit. However, my tips NEVER go above 15%, and I sometimes notice the standoffishness from my server as I leave the restaurant — tough shit. I know I come off as a douche for thinking this way, but I guess I am a douche.
I find tipping sleazy and dishonest, almost as a form of bribing. I go to a restaurant to enjoy a meal, not to make buddies or have my self-esteem boosted by a cute 25 year old smiling at me.
Tipping also rewards attractiveness and ass-kissing, not real hardwork.
Another point is that tipping gives stingy restaurant owners an incentive to pay shitty wages. The service or gratuity charge is the best thing, in my opinion.
7 ganttsquarry // Sep 19, 2009 at 10:33 am
As a single guy, I go to restaurants quite a bit. With women, with friends, and yes even alone as well.
I am aware this isn’t the healthiest habit in the world either.
If I frequent a place, I generally tip 20 percent, higher if I know the server and he/she does a good job.
Places I know I’ll never be in again will inspire a bit more stinginess unless the service is outstanding, or above the call of duty.
I’ve had a bit better luck in the female server department then you have I think. Maybe I’m getting older female servers more. The young tarts tend to have the princess attitude more. Maybe it’s hard for them to transition from being “served” in their private life, to “serving” at their job. I know the type you are talking about.
Flirting or cleavage is never rewarded. It is punished in fact, if I think she is doing it to compensate for inattentive service.
I prefer men at nicer places and/or when I’m out with a big group of people.
My one caveat is the male server that is too friendly and subservient. Makes me uncomfortable. An extreme example of this would be the annoying waiter at Flinger’s in the movie Office Space.
On tipping…
First, if it was included in the check, the service would suffer. Second, patrons would begin to leave additional tips to reward the good service they got and this would become a trend. Pressure to leave a tip above the 20% already on the bill would happen in no time. Back to square one.
I also like being able to award really good service.
On your massage experience: That doesn’t surprise me at all. Excellent example of differences in male/female behavior and attitudes.
8 Elusive Wapiti // Sep 19, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Agree Welmer. I’ve noted that the men tend to serve better than the women. No experience with masseurs/masseuses tho.
The big difference however, lays in the attitude differential between the sexes wrt tipping. I have detected a sense of entitlement to a “tip” present in women. Perhaps it is to compensate them for their having to take that low-wage crummy job when they could have a nice cushy white-collar career replete with medical benefits and child care.
Like you, I also dislike the “race to the bottom” tendency for women to shove their tits in my face or dress scantily in a flagrant attempt to apply chick game on me in exchange for an extra buck or two.
9 novaseeker // Sep 19, 2009 at 12:37 pm
When I was living in Europe there were no tips — the prices were grossed up to cover higher wait staff salaries. That was fine, but the service was often poor — dunno if that is directly related to tipping, though, because I have had poor service in the US , too, and we tip here.
I’m still on the 15% program. It goes to 20% id the service was particularly good, or down to 10% if the service was particularly bad, but straight 15% is what competent service gets. I find it amazing how this writer is suggesting that I am insulting them with a 15% gratuity.
It also depends on the restaurant. If the restaurant is higher priced, a wait staff will make a tidy amount at 15%, given the check totals, and she isn’t really working any harder than the chick at the diner. And at 15% she is still making a lot more than the diner waitress would be making at 20%. Why is the one at the high-end restaurant entitled to 20%? Because she’s hot and smiles?
I also prefer male waiters, for the most part, provided they’re not the hairdresser persona.
10 Up Here // Sep 19, 2009 at 4:07 pm
“I don’t care if they serve me a sandwich underneath a couple of pushed-up, scented breasts”
They still do that in America? I’ll bet they still say “hun” too, eh? Count your blessings, old chap, in Canada women are *really* opposed to serving men in any way, things are much, much more feminist up here. I prefer male waiters too, but for far different reasons.
Hey, there was some study that came out recently in the media showing that people prefer the customer service they get from white males, that’s a pretty significant HateFact we shouldn’t let slip our attention. Not only is AA immoral, but it lessens – significantly I would add – customer satisfaction and therefore profits.
Where are all the female taxi drivers, by the way? I suppose it is a bit dangerous, but that doesn’t stop them from becoming cops, soldiers, and firemen. As bitchy as Canadian women are it is inconceivable that they are as bad as the ethnic men who have a stranglehold over the taxi industry. That’s one industry where the case for gender quotas makes some sense.
11 Tarl // Sep 19, 2009 at 6:36 pm
“Where are all the female taxi drivers, by the way? I suppose it is a bit dangerous, but that doesn’t stop them from becoming cops, soldiers, and firemen.”
Cops, firemen, and to a lesser extent soldiers are government jobs with great benefits, strong unions, promotion is more or less automatic, and it’s basically impossible to get fired no matter how worthless you are. Taxi drivers have none of that, so it’s no surprise women don’t want to do it (heck, most men don’t want to do it).
12 Jesse // Sep 19, 2009 at 8:57 pm
I also don’t like the entitlement bit, but tipping high doesn’t bother me–which puts me in the minority here it seems. I don’t actually pay all that much attention to service; I hit the same few places whenever I eat out (and for a bachelor like me that’s a lot) so I know what to expect of the food and wait staff. I start at about 25% and move up from there, or down if the service was exceptionally bad. My thinking is, I make decent money and enjoy the meal out, and it’s fun to watch some sports on the bar TVs and maybe chat a little while I enjoy a meal, and I know the wait staff doesn’t pull in great money so I don’t mind throwing them some extra.
Plus, since I go to the same places, I see it as building a rapport. The waiters and waitresses know who I am and they know I tip well, so I figure at least some will put out more effort to take care of me. Basically, I’m paying extra to move myself up the hierarchy of customers so I get more attentive service. This trick has produced real results at some places and not so much at others, but I try to always tip high regardless unless something far out of the ordinary happens.
Back when I made much less money, though, the big question of how much of a tip to leave was always a quandary for me. I generally stayed in the 15-20% range, adjusting up or down slightly to make my total payment an even dollar amount.
As for the waitresses flashing boobs at me, can’t say I’ve had that problem a whole lot. I guess either I’m that naive or I’m not the kind of charming guy waitresses care to show off for–probably the latter. But then again, I always eat at the bar and the places I frequent have attire that doesn’t really allow for that, so maybe that has something to do with it.
13 whiskey // Sep 19, 2009 at 10:29 pm
I take it Hooters is not your regular hangout then :>
14 Welmer // Sep 19, 2009 at 11:16 pm
Hey, at least Hooters is honest about it. If I really did want to ogle some breasts while eating, I suppose I would go to Hooters, come to think of it.
I wonder how the service is there?
15 When a good post comes along, you must plug it « In Mala Fide // Sep 20, 2009 at 9:03 am
[...] has some choice words for greedy waitresses: I’m getting to that point with waitresses. I am quite frankly sick of their entitled, bitchy [...]
16 Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Tech // Sep 20, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Here’s something that is very telling about male vs. female wait staff. Have you noticed how the more higher end a restaurant is the more male wait staff it will have? (To the point that many high end restaurants have only male wait staff.)
This tells you everything you need to know about the subject.
17 Obvious // Sep 20, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Who cares? Just get a take-out order and call it a day, guys.
18 miles // Sep 22, 2009 at 2:57 am
20% is roughly what I usually tip, but that is as high as Im ever going to go.
I remember when it was 10% (the then-acceptable gratuity). My parents tell me that it used to be 5% back in their day.
I remember when it went to 15%. To be honest, 15% should be about right. Now they are carping that “anything less than 20%” is rude and cheap.
My take on that is this: Get another fucking job. You can move boxes at UPS and work MUCH MUCH harder than waiting tables or pouring drinks. You can work construction and work much much harder than you will in resturaunts. What we have here Welmer is social psychology at work. The waiters get to compare you to other customers, many of whom are loaded financially, and they will deem you low-class and can “act” mad at you if you only tip 15% (even though that was the standard all through the mid-eighties to mid-nineties). As the recession drags on, and its going to for another six-months-to-a-year almost for certain, more and more waitstaff will be glad anybody is going out to eat, period.
Note: I cannot digest gluten (wheat, bread, pasta, beer, rye, most sauces) without getting very sick (a “flu-like” achy feeling for the rest of the day, extremely bad diarreha, a rash appears on my ewbows that itches intensely and requires hydrocortisone cream for several days). Since becoming extremely gluten-intolerant, Ive had to learn how to cook much more, which Im getting pretty damned good at. Im enjoying eating at home more than ever before, and have found that it can save you a very suprising amount of money if you do it right (meat, fruit, steamed veggies, home-made tea).
BTW—if a waiter really sucks, they only get 10% from me, but this has only happened 3 times in my life. Im usually right at 20%. Im a very easy customer. I dont try to mix-and-match from the menu, generally only require one drink refill at the most, and usually order a water along with my beverage just so I dont even have to do that. I generally wont send anything back even if its done wrong. Im not hard on them, and dont bore them with extraneous chit-chat, and am professionally courteous to them. In other words, I dont ‘make them earn their money like many many women Ive dated over the years do. A waiter probably has to only walk to our table 3 times when serving me.
19 Professor Hale // Sep 22, 2009 at 9:25 am
I also would prefer a tipless society. I only tip because I know that is a significant part of the wait-staff compensation and it is customary in the USA to do so. I never, ever put a tip in a jar at starbucks or similar thing. I do not adjust the tip for better or worse service. If service is bad, I complain to the manager or stop going there. The cooks, dishwashers, and management have every bit as much to contribute to your meal, but they get no part of the tips.
I have a great deal of skepticism believing wait staff adjust their behavior for better or worse tiping. The fear of losing a job is what keeps them doing good work. An occasional rare individual will be personally motivated to do good work for its own reward.
I also tip my barber.
When I tip, I leave cash, even if I am charging a credit card. I thereby encourage wait staff to not report it as taxable income. Bad law making criminals of us all, and all that.
20 Lukobe // Sep 30, 2009 at 11:46 am
Oy, I just got back from my honeymoon, which took us on a cruise from Italy to Greece to Turkey to Egypt and back, and man is it worse for tipping out there than it is here. Especially Egypt. Bakshish, bakshish! I tried to think of most of it as U.S. foreign aid. Great trip nevertheless.
21 Wil E // Oct 23, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Pushed up and scented….I tip extra
for that.
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